I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I know her cup size but not her name....
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