Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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