Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Boobs are out for the taking
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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