that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
