maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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