allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
