What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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