Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
