I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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