I heard we made out
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
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Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
