i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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