Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
