Sponge bath it is.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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