Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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