summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
