I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
