Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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