you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
