Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
