38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
