We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize