This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize