Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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