It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize