Pappa wants mamma naked
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
