Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
