I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize