ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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