new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
