On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
