I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
