New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
did you just send me my own nude
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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