So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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