White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
