you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
