There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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