she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
