whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
