Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
