Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
