There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
