I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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