I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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