I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize