i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
