Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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