i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Randomize
