my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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