Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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