Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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