Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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