after a month anything with tits is on the radar
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
