You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
