i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
