If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
