My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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