This girl is more easily done than said...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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