ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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