i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
