I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
