I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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